Along came a girl…
We started the journey of our third adoption last year and I wrote about it last November. The post was called, “We are expecting, Maybe.” I wrote a few updates since that post. When I wrote my last update this past August, I was confident that we would not , in fact, be adopting. Our contract was expiring at the end of the year (it was a 2 year contract and we hadn’t heard anything yet) and even if a birth mother picked us I figured she would choose a different couple when she heard that my husband was struggling with Lyme disease and would be unable to travel. So, we held a huge rummage sale and sold all our baby things.
No More Babies Rummage Sale
During that rummage, we made money to pay for a special Lyme treatment for Al in December. However, during that rummage, I actually wrote a post for the blog that never published. It was titled, “I got mad today”. Essentially to sum it up, it was saying that although I had come to terms with not adopting a third child, I was sad. As I was putting out the baby bassinet for sale, I cried. This wasn’t really what we wanted. Why couldn’t we have adopted? My gut said to put the bassinet in the basement and sell the rest. So we did.
Not two weeks after the rummage, we got “the call” (12 days later to be premise). Well, actually I missed “the call” because I was on a plane. Nonetheless, there was a birth mother who was due with a baby girl on December 4th and had chosen us. I remember being stuck on the jet bridge hyperventilating. Yes, I missed my connection, so that was initially why my heart rate was up; but moreover, I may have a daughter! I could barely form words. The person next to me probably thought I was crazy. I was stuttering, “I’m having a baby! It’s a girl.” She looked at my flat stomach and probably thought I was nuts.
I didn’t want to get too excited because I had to break the news to the birth mom that Al couldn’t travel to the location. I feared she may say, “Oh, never mind, I’ll go with another couple who can travel.” It was quite the opposite. She was totally understanding and had no other couple in mind but us! It was meant to be. She is an amazing woman and above all else, she chose LIFE.
Al on the Mend
Al has been making tons of improvements these past few months. He’s been walking without crutches now and helping with meals, dishes and the kids. It’s nothing short of a miracle. The birth mother would like him to be there for the birth as well, but we’ll just have to see when the time comes. I feel bad for Al that he may miss the birth of his daughter, but a lifetime with her will make up for it.
Sharing for Support (and because I said I would)
I thought about not writing an update until after things are finalized in December. But then I remembered in my first post I wrote this:
I will add Facebook comments as things arise – both the good and the bad news. I promise to be truthful and open…Come on this journey with us. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
So there are certainly some things that I will leave out due to the fact that the adoption is not final and there are certain rules and laws that we must follow and privacy we must respect. Here’s what I can tell you:
Al likely can’t fly, so he’ll probably have to stay home while I travel. I may have to be out of state up to 25 days. Also, he still cannot drive (yet). We are thinking that it will be best for our five year old to stay in school and our three year old to travel with me. Luckily, my mom will be traveling with me and Al’s dad will be flying in to help.
I have to be ready at any time because the birth mother wants me in the delivery room if at all possible, and I want to be there too!
The birth mother has every right to change her mind until she signs the papers, which looks like it could be 10-12 days after birth. The papers she signs are called, “Termination of Parental Rights” or TPR. The birth father has willingly agreed to sign as well.
After TPR, we must wait 7-10 more days for clearance from the states (ours and the baby’s birth state) before we can travel home (that process is called ICPC).
Looking at the situation, there are so many unknowns, uncertainties and fears. I have no idea what’s going to happen over the next month. I have NO idea how the logistics will all work out, but I know God will provide. He always has. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I posted this quote on my Facebook and it couldn’t be more true right now:
I will add updates as they arise. Stay tuned! For the full story, visit the adoption blog page here.