Please welcome our guest blogger, Angie. Read along as she discusses the reality of living in Lake Country and parenting with a mental health diagnosis. Angie is a Lake Country mother in her 30s with a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. She holds a Masters Degree and holds down jobs.
“Right now mental health topics are even more important than ever as people who have never had mental health issues will be having symptoms of depression, etc… for the first time because of isolation. Strangely enough, my mental health struggles have actually prepared me a bit for this current crisis, and I am doing well. My daily life has not changed much, and I have a great family that helps me to cope. My heart goes out to anyone living alone or experiencing sudden life changes.”
~Angie
The early signs and symptoms of a mental health diagnosis
“I thought I was Bipolar since Catherine Zeta-Jones came out as Bipolar around 8-10 years ago on the news, but I went to my Psychologist then and the only thing she asked me was, “Do you sleep well at night?” My answer was “Yes” and she did not explore into it further.
Later, I found out that there is a series of questions that should be considered for formal review. So, Bipolar symptoms can be misunderstood even within the medical community. A doctor may look for the tell-tale signs, but they may easily miss them for decades, in my case. You must be your own advocate and be persistent with the doctors. Looking back, I don’t really think there were too many times in my life that I have gotten adequate mental health care, and the reasons for this are complex and various.
That is why I would like to tell my story, to bring awareness to the complexities around mental health issues and also to help end stigma so people don’t feel alone or isolated.”
When were you diagnosed?
“I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at age 37 (3 years ago), also diagnosed with ADD last year. I was actually happy and relieved to get this diagnosis because I had thought I most likely had both for many years. I had asked several psychologists/therapists if I had either, but for whatever reason they did not think so, but now it is quite obvious to me that this is the correct diagnosis and I am able to manage my life better. I think it may be difficult to get a Bipolar diagnosis for some people because for me I have always been “high- functioning”, for example I have a Masters Degree and held down jobs. Also, I consider myself to be a pretty quiet person, or you can say I internalize most of the Manic symptoms. Also, I converted to Islam 15 years ago, quit drinking etc…so I’m not exactly out there doing a lot of risky behavior that is associated with Bipolar. But sometimes I think they dismissed my Bipolar claims too quickly.”
Tell us more about your mental health journey
“I had signs of Depression, Social Anxiety, and thoughts of Suicide since I was a small child, around 8 years old. It was hard to express these feelings as a child to my parents and I never saw a Doctor about it or knew that was a valid option. When I was 24, I was told by a Doctor that I am going through a “Quarter-Life Crisis” and was formally treated for Depression. At the time, I was a Flight Attendant in Chicago and was also going to University. Soon after, I got married and had my daughter who is now 14. (We are still married and have 2 other children.) The life changes at that time, including job loss, came on too suddenly and I don’t think I was able to properly heal from that major Psychological Breakdown before I had a child. I suffered Post-Partum Depression or an overall Depression that lasted 5+ years or more in which I was mostly untreated. This was by far the hardest time it has ever been to be a parent. I was not actively suicidal, but thought about death often. I often thought my child would be better off without me and I felt really sorry for her. By the time she got 5-6 years old, she knew something was wrong with Mom. There was a special song on a toy guitar she would play for me whenever she noticed I was sad, and we still have that toy and she still remembers it! I get tears in my eyes….. HOWEVER…..
THIS IS NOT A SAD STORY…!!! And I have to sometimes remind myself that really I am one of the Lucky ones…!! And best thing of All, I have an excellent relationship and special bond with my teenager that I can share real things with. I feel like we really got through something!
This is the main point I would like to make when considering mental health, that it is GOOD to talk about it and even celebrate accomplishments at times! I recognize that it can be an uncomfortable topic for many people, but I have also been told recently on a certain local Facebook group not to talk about it, that “we are not psychologists”, that I am “looking for special attention”, and was even told that maybe the Insane Asylums of the past should be opened back up to handle such people as myself. Such comments can be very damaging when someone is in the middle of a mental health crisis and needs help. It does not take a lot of effort to extend some sympathy. I have noticed
that even regular people in my everyday life who are generally very good and well-intentioned do not really care to dig deeper into the issue of mental health when I tell
them about it. They don’t seem to ask questions around it, or give it the same importance as they would any other medical condition. All of this contributes to a general sense of Stigma in the community and could possibly keep a person from seeking actual help when needed.
I am a Substitute Teacher, although I don’t work often since my youngest is in 4K (and now we don’t have school). I prefer to work in Middle and High Schools since I feel like I can relate to these kids more. I remember going through school feeling so emotionally deprived, confused, and lost. Today, I still see some really depressed kids in some of these schools, and I often wonder without prying too much if they are really getting the help that they need. Kids will say stuff like, “they wish they were dead”, and sometimes you don’t know how serious to take them or if that is normal to some degree. In most cases, all I can do is encourage them to talk to their parents and other adults. At least, things have improved since I was in school so that they do cover these subjects during the normal course of their classes, but it just reminds me how much of a crisis that is going on out there and leaves lingering questions on what can be done to have a lasting impact. The only thing I can think of is to lend a sympathetic ear, encourage medical help when needed, and to be an advocate for more awareness in general.
Thank you for your attention regarding this issue and I would be happy to answer any additional questions.”
~ Angie
If you are currently feeling anxious, sad, nervous, or different than how you have normally felt, please reach out to one of the local resources listed below and/or call 1-800-273-8255, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Gals Institute
Gals Institute, LLC – Empowering our Children for a Brighter Future
Top Mental Health Providers in Waukesha County
Find the most recommended mental health providers in Waukesha County
Thank you Angie for sharing your story. MashAllah you are a strong Mama and your story gives me comfort.
Postpartum depression can be so deadly and I haven’t met many mothers who talk about the dark side of it. I’m glad I met you on Facebook and got to meet you albeit virtually 🙂
Dear Angie, Thank you for sharing. I share your observations and experiences. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar for over 27 years. I have a PhD and 4 children who are all very sensitive children. I am also a certified Dyslexia trainer. In my years of struggling I have noticed that sensitive children (little Einsteins) who are struggling in our school systems are more likely to be bi-polar. These children have a different way of learning. They process information as pictures not letters. So they take in more and more complex information in at one time. So they get tired more quickly and can’t take up as much at one time. So if we tackle their learning stress we maybe able to reduce the severity of their problems in the future.