This is a sponsored series.
In light of National Adoption Awareness month in November, I will be sharing our adoption story/stories over a series of posts each week, with permission from my husband. I will start by explaining what I mean when I say “we are expecting…maybe”. The second week I will post the story of our first adoption. The following week I will post about our second adoption. The final two weeks I will post adoption resources, provide helpful information/tips, and answer some questions raised via comments in the previous weeks! Stay tuned each week to gain a bit more insight into the adoption process and how our family came to be.
This series is sponsored by Grady, Hayes, & Neary, LLC Attorneys at Law in Waukesha, WI.
With over a century of combined experience serving clients in multiple areas of the law, attorneys at Grady, Hayes & Neary, LLC value the individual attention and personal service they provide to our clients. Whether you are seeking counsel to adopt a child or prosecute or defend a lawsuit, our attorneys are dedicated to listening to the needs of our clients and looking for creative ways to address their concerns. Grady, Hayes & Neary, LLC’s attorneys have over six decades of combined experience in Wisconsin Children’s Law, including all areas of adoption law – domestic, international, foster parent adoption and stepparent adoption – surrogacy and guardianship.
Week Two: Meeting our Miracle
We found out in September of 2011 that we could not conceive children. That is a whole story in itself. It was also the best thing ever, because it led us to our children. After a grieving process and buying a home, we applied with a local adoption agency in January of 2012. We spent the next 4 months in training, filling out paper work, completing our home study (read my first article if you don’t know what a home study is) and putting together our profile book for birth mothers to look at. On May 7th, we officially ENTERED THE POOL (again see first article for what that term means).
Our Plan for the Waiting Process
Since we were told the adoption process could take years and we were too young to sit around and wiggle our thumbs while we waited, we booked a whole slew of activities including a trip to Vegas, a family trip to the East Coast, and I signed up for the Tough Mudder in September. I figured we would buy a crib and baby items over the next year and read baby books over Christmas break… (maybe).
Getting “the call”
Ten days after entering the pool, on May 17th, I decided to randomly take a “me” day off of work. So I was sitting at home next to my husband on the couch when we got THE CALL. It was our adoption worker calling to tell us that a birth mother had chosen US. Come to find out, the baby was born 2 months premature and was already 3 days old. WOW. It was a boy. That’s all we knew. Next step? Meet the birth mother and if she approves of us, we can go meet our son. Pressure? Undoubtedly.
We couldn’t meet her until May 23rd. Let me tell you…FIVE. DAYS. PASSED. between hearing about a baby and finding out if he would really be ours forever, and it felt like an eternity. I prayed for him every day and longed to hold him. Longest and most emotional five days ever. I remember being in Target with my mom and godmother, buying a crib and stopping in the aisle to cry, because I was shopping for a baby I’d never met, already loved so much, and may not possibly ever be ours.
Meeting the birth mother
On May 23rd, we drove 5 hours north to meet the birth mother. We had to pull over because we felt sick with nervousness. It was so much. What if she met us and changed her mind? The plan was to do lunch with her and a social worker. Then we would start driving home. If she said yes, we would get a call that we could go to the hospital and meet our son. If she said no, we would drive straight home. We never got a call…
That’s because in the restaurant she said right then and there, “I’m 100% sure of my decision. Go. Meet him now.” Thank the LORD. So we said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch with letters and pictures. We drove the 2 ½ hours to meet him.
Meeting the son God meant for our family
We walked into the hospital NICU and were told to wash our hands for FIVE MINUTES. Longest five minutes EVER! I saw one baby on the end who was SUPER small. That baby couldn’t be ours I thought. It was. Laying there was 4 pound 6 ounce Quinton Charles Nikolai Cutler, who we named after my Grandfather as well as the birth mother’s. We both held him and welled up with emotions. Amazing moment. This is what life is all about.
Unfortunately, a few things had to be worked out. He was in the NICU learning to suck/swallow/breathe, and we were 2 ½ hours from our home. I also had a lot to figure out with work, baby supplies, etc. Most importantly and most frighteningly, the birth mother still had at least a month where she could change her mind and decide to parent him.
The hardest part of our whole adoption was definitely the two months we had Quinton and were waiting for his birth mother to terminate her rights (called Termination of Parental Rights or TPR) which happened in court. I don’t think I slept or ate much during that time and we went off Facebook completely. The song, ‘All of Me‘ by Matt Hammitt got me through.
We brought Quinton home on June 1st just over 5 pounds. We had just the things we needed to take care of him (let me tell you – you don’t need much). Quinton’s birth mother missed court a few times, but eventually terminated her rights on July 18th, and we baptized Quinton on July 20th. My baby shower (cleverly called a SIP and SEE) was July 21st. We finalized the adoption in court on December 21st. Oh – and I went on to do the tough mudder or shall I say, tough “mother” in September of that year, with a four month old cheering me on.
Remember, the previous September I was told we would never conceive and the following May we were blessed with Quinton (that’s just 9 short months later) – God is good.
I want to share this poem I wrote Quinton:
When did I first love you, you ask? Was it the first time I saw you?
…no it was not.
The answer is, I prayed for you before I knew you and
I loved you the first second I heard of you.
So…the first time I saw you was the first time I laid eyes upon the one I already loved so much and who I’d been praying for all along.
Next week I will write about the story of our second adoption. Thinking miracles couldn’t happen twice, I got the shock of my life based on our second child’s birthday.
If you missed week 1, click here to read it. It is entitled, “We are expecting…maybe”.