This is a sponsored series.
In light of National Adoption Awareness month in November, I will be sharing our adoption story/stories over a series of posts each week, with permission from my husband. I will start by explaining what I mean when I say “we are expecting…maybe”. The second week I will post the story of our first adoption. The following week I will post about our second adoption. The final two weeks I will post adoption resources, provide helpful information/tips, and answer some questions raised via comments in the previous weeks! Stay tuned each week to gain a bit more insight into the adoption process and how our family came to be.
This series is sponsored by Grady, Hayes, & Neary, LLC Attorneys at Law in Waukesha, WI.
It’s Hard to Control the Excitement. Claire waited years for a family to call her own. Her new parents waited almost as long for a child to help complete their family. Then Grady, Hayes & Neary stepped in to bring them together. Over the years, we have helped build thousands of families through adoption. We also offer unique expertise in cases of guardianship, surrogacy, paternity, child custody and foster care. For more information on our services, call us today at 262-347-2001 or visit www.ghnlawyers.com.
Week Five: Adoption Resources
Well, adoption month is over on Wednesday of this week (November 30th). I hope that the information in my four posts thus far has been helpful or inspirational or eye-opening. Most of all, I hope it has given you a personal look into one family’s adoption journey. If it has helped one person, it has been worth it.
By the way, my phone rang today 10 times. I never get that many calls. With each call, I prayed it was an 847 area code (that is where our adoption agency is). Unfortunately, it was not and we have had no word about any birthmothers interested in us yet. But, we are hopeful.
To conclude the adoption month posts, I thought I would end with a glimpse of some resources for those wanting to better understand the types of adoption. In addition, provide information for those wanting to pursue adoption. Finally, to provide ideas for others who would like to help support adoption awareness.
Note: I will put a blanket statement over the information in this post that I am NOT an adoption expert just an adoptive parent. For full details on adoption (especially since they vary by state) reach out to a local adoption attorney or agency. My attorney was Stephen Hayes, who is our adoption month post sponsor.
In case you missed the first three articles you can further read about them by clicking on the links below:
We are Expecting…Maybe here
Quinton’s Story here
Brooks’ Story here
Adoption Story Q & A here
Types of Adoption and Foster Care Options
Here is a list of the main types of adoption:
Domestic Agency Infant Adoption – This is what we have done…work with a licensed agency to match us with a birth mother/father.
Independent Infant Adoption – Similar to agency adoption except that there is no agency “matching”, it happens independently. Birth parent counseling may or may not take place. Legal requirements apply.
International Adoption – Here is a website with the current list of countries that the US is able to work with for international adoption and a list of recent notices about countries.
Relative / Step-Child Adoption
Foster to Adopt – Per Adoptuskids.org, “Many families foster with the intention of adopting, a practice that an increasing number of states are encouraging. Fostering to adopt has many benefits, including reducing the number of placements a child experiences and allowing a family to bond.” These are low to no cost.
Adopting from the Foster Care System – Per adoptuskids.org, “Today there are more than 100,000 children and youth in foster care who are waiting for the love and security that a permanent home provides.” These adoptions are generally not newborns (average age around 8-12) and are low to no cost.
Embryo Adoption – Read more here.
How Foster Care Differs
Foster-to-adopt AND adopting from the foster care system are different than foster care. Adopting from foster care or working with foster-to-adopt programs means that these are children whose birth parents cannot care for them and their rights have been terminated or will most likely be terminated. Foster Care works to remove a child from a parent that is unfit to care for the child (for whatever reason) at that point in time. The goal in foster care is REUNIFICATION with the birth parent(s).
In Summary – How to Choose Which Type of Adoption
For people looking to adopt, it is important to learn about the different types of adoption and foster care and decide what is best for them. Education is key. Each type has its pros and cons, so they must be weighed against the person’s goals/abilities/financial means. The Wisconsin Department of Children and families has a resource page on the different types of adoptions here: https://dcf.wisconsin.gov/adoption/become.
Adoption Resources
There are TONS of resources out there on adoption. The best place to start is talking to a qualified adoption agency, home study agency or an adoption attorney. In this post, I will highlight a few of my favorite resources:
Taking the Leap
I read on the Dave Thomas Foundation website that, “81.5 MILLION AMERICANS HAVE CONSIDERED ADOPTION…If just 1 in 500 of these adults adopted, every waiting child in foster care would have a permanent family.” It’s no doubt that adoption (any kind) is needed. If you feel that adoption is in your heart and you are being called to adopt, where do you start? Here are some resources and tips:
Here is an article called, “Where to start when considering adoption”. I like how it emphasizes education first. https://adoption.com/start-considering-adoption
Here is an article that is simple, but shows the general steps in the process. http://www.howtoadopt.org/adoption-guide/the-basics/understanding-the-process/
Wisconsin adopt.org (http://wiadopt.org/ ) has a lot of great information about adoption in Wisconsin. They have websites and Facebook pages and groups that I am a part of.
Remember, adoptions are governed by state laws – research them and/or talk to a local adoption attorney.
Reach out to others who have adopted and get a feel for their experiences, while remembering that each adoption/foster situation is totally unique.
Adoption Blogs
Similar to my posts this month, there are many others willing to share their personal stories or share tips on adoption. You can find a recent list of the Top 100 Adoption Blogs for adoptive parents, birth mothers and adoptees put together by feedspot here. One of my favorite blogs, which is also through my adoption agency, is Angel Adoption’s Blog and they made the top 100. Some recent Angel Adoption articles include, “4 Reasons You Should Consider Adoption”, “Understanding the Adoption Tax Credit in 2016”, and “9 Adoption Blogs for Birthmothers” to name a few.
Governmental Agency – The Children’s Bureau – Office of the Administration for Children and Families
The Children’s Bureau has many resources. One of their focus areas is for adoption. Check out the link: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/focus-areas/adoption. Per their website they,
“…support programs, research, and monitoring to help eliminate barriers to adoption and find permanent families for children. CB provides funding to states and tribes to help them support families who adopt from foster care. We provide additional funds to states that achieve a high number of adoptions of children from foster care.”
Financing Adoption
Here is a website that provides a list of adoption grants available called fund your adoption.
Adoptions from foster care are virtually free and most children qualify for a monthly subsidy to help offset the cost of care.
Here is an article from the National Infertility and Adoption Education Nonprofit called, “9 ways an average person pays for adoption”
Here is a link to the IRS details on the adoption tax credit.
Facebook Adoption Resources
Coalition for Children, Youth & Families
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
How You can Help
- First, you can promote adoption awareness by educating yourself on adoption and sharing information with others.
- You can support and attend local fundraisers for organizations that support adoption and foster care.
- You can encourage and support those in the wait for an adoptive child.
- Next, you can educate yourself on the stigmas of adoption so that you can help clear up adoption misconceptions and misinformation. Here is website with some myths.
- You can pray for the children waiting for forever families.
- If you have adopted or fostered, you can share your stories, the good and bad, to bring a human touch to the topic of adoption.
- Furthermore, you can read the presidential proclamation on adoption here.
- You can learn and use positive adoption language. For example, the term “put up for adoption” has negative stigma, instead say, “chose an adoption path or plan for his or her child”.
- In addition, you can pray for the birth families that have chosen adoption that they would feel comfort in their choice and healing along their journey.
Thank You
Finally, thank you for taking the time to read these articles. If you would like more information from me, you can email me at stephanie (dot) cutler33 (at) gmail (dot) com.
