Backstory on Our Adoption
Way back in fall of 2016 in my first article I wrote about how we were in the adoption wait for a third child. Feel free to read about that first, if you haven’t, to get brought up to speed. Below you’ll find an update to that process.
The Bad News
An adoption update…I can frankly sum it up pretty quick. Life hasn’t been going well for us in the past year. My husband is debilitated from Lyme disease. We cannot take a new baby at this point.
Luckily, we haven’t been approached about an adoptive mother choosing us, but if we would be, we’d have to say ‘no’ at this point as we aren’t physically or emotionally able to care for a new child. At least at this very moment.
Choices to Make
We thought about getting out of the adoption wait, but since we’ve gone on hold once, we weren’t allowed to go on hold again. Also, we haven’t heard of anything yet, so we figure, we might as well ride it out until the end of the year when our contract expires. I think God knows how much it would crush us to have to turn down a baby, so He’s led birth mothers to other couples.
What Happens in January of 2018
Come 2018, our contract is over with our agency and we’d be out a good deal of money. It’s ok. It’s just money. This did not come as a surprise. We knew the risks involved the whole time. And the agency boasts a high placement rate. Our money went to support many other forever families being made, so it’s definitely not a waste. That money was used for marketing, placements, staffing – you name it. Not all adoptions require money up front, we just chose this one. See information in my adoption resource article about different types of adoptions and costs.
How we are Handling it All
It’s weird how “OK” I am with this all. I thought I would be devastated that adoption hasn’t happened yet and in fact, may not happen at all. But I’ve really given our life to God’s plan and accept what He has in store for us. I’m at complete peace with it. Really. It’s a good feeling.
Maybe Al gets better and we adopt this December. Maybe our family is complete with our amazing 2 blessings. Maybe we adopt a 12 year old 15 years from now. I’m done planning out my life. I’ll let God take care of it all and be open to where and when he leads.
What I’ve Learned
I have learned that the harder we try to hold onto control in our life, the more it disappoints. I have learned that there is Joy in disappointments, Hope in the darkest days and a Plan for my life that’s greater than I can imagine.
So, this is definitely not the update I thought I’d be writing 13 months ago when we jumped back into the adoption pool. But it’s the story of our life and it’s real life, not some fairy tale. We are alive and breathing and life is good.
We’ve created a central location for our adoption posts. You can view them all here.
The Cutlers
You , Albert, and those 2 adorable, happy, boys of yours are all a blessing and an inspiration to everyone. I can’t wait to meet you all in the near future. I believe God wants Albert to heal during this down time for your family. You are all warriors that will handle what comes your way. If in the future there is a child or mother in need you’ll find each other.
Love,
Aunt Margie Ulrich-Cutler (Uncle Jim Cutler wife)
Aww Margie. Thank you. I teared up reading your words. Thank you so much. I hope to meet you all some day too. When Al is better!
Hi Stephanie! My name is Jessie Senglaub and I own Birch & Banyan Coffee in the Village of Hartland. I suffered from Chronic Lymes for about 10 years, and have been in “remission” for the past year and a half or so. I’m not sure what point you are in the process of this all with your husband, but I’d be happy to share anything I’ve learned if you’d like, i.e. doctors I saw, etc. My email is jessie@birchandbanyancoffee.com.
Thank you so much Jessie. I just went to Birch & Banyan for first time last week. Erin raves about it. I’m going to email you today!
What a beautiful testimony. Very touching.